


love language

by pensivecowboyemoji



Series: to know him is to love him [2]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Autistic Julian Bashir, Fluff, Genderqueer Elim Garak, M/M, Other, Trans Julian Bashir, again. not relevant to the fic but its true!, but it plays a minor part, ft a little cardassian language, i will die on this hill.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:41:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28137111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pensivecowboyemoji/pseuds/pensivecowboyemoji
Summary: “Translating the novels through removes all the nuance, Julian! Look atmycopy” He brandishes the Padd at the seated man. “Isn’t it so much more interesting than your Federation left-to-right!” he sighs almost… longingly? And Julian can’t express that readingthatwould be worse because his eyes would wander around the spiralling text and ruin the story before they got to the end, not that they could be ruined because youalreadyknow that everyone’s guilty, so what’s thepoint, Elim!But that would bring the argument to a close, so he bites his tongue and replies coyly: “Why don’t you teach me, then?"
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Series: to know him is to love him [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2059722
Comments: 7
Kudos: 39





	love language

**Author's Note:**

> unintentionally started a series. this is set an ambiguous amount of time before the other one in this series. time doesnt exist. fuck it.  
> this is based off a tumblr post that listed all the greek types of love, i read a fic by sapphose (its called growth!!! super reccomend you check it out, it's wonderful and made me cry a little) and there was a mention of a word that implies "love above the state" and my brain started working overtime on it! and here we are like three days later.  
> enjoy!

It had started 79.3 Stardays ago.  
Julian had a rare night off, promising to not make any plans to spend it at Quark’s with Miles throwing darts or fighting holographic soldiers.   
He’d come home ( _home_ , Garak thinks warmly. It’s been a long time since he’d called anywhere home) and they’d enjoyed a spirited debate at dinner over another of the _Enigma Tales_ Garak had lent him. He’d had some pithy argument of the story being shallow and immature, following the same pattern of all the _other_ Enigma Tales he’d slogged through.  
Of course, Elim wasn’t having it.  
“Translating the novels through removes all the nuance, Julian! Look at _my_ copy” He brandishes the Padd at the seated man. “Isn’t it so much more interesting than your Federation left-to-right!” he sighs almost… longingly? And Julian can’t express that reading _that_ would be _worse_ because his eyes would wander around the spiralling text and ruin the story before they got to the end, not that they _could_ be ruined because you _already_ know that everyone’s guilty, so what’s the _point_ , Elim!  
But that would bring the argument to a close, so he bites his tongue and replies coyly: “Why don’t you teach me, then?”  
Garak makes an odd noise, almost like Miles’ beloved flux capacitors when the antigrav particles are out of alignment, and stops. He takes a measured breath.   
Damn, he ended the argument anyway.   
“I- I mean. Of course, I could do that.” His voice is hoarse, and he almost drops the Padd into the small dishes scattered about the table. Julian smiles, searching for any signs of distress or discomfort. He seems tense.   
“I’d love to learn from you. It’d be an honour.”  
  
#  
  
Julian learns _quickly._ Thirty Stardays later and he was already half-fluent in the other language - Garak’s language - to the point where they could turn their universal translators off whenever they felt like it to talk. (He’d learnt Federation Standard years ago, as soon as he’d woken up on the station formerly known as Terok Nor, alone, so if Julian ever struggled with a word he could gently prompt him and resume their conversation.)   
And _how_ beautifully Julian’s tongue curls around the twenty-seven tenses Kardassi contains, how wonderfully he constructs his sentences, how perfect his intonation and emphasis. Garak hadn’t thought it possible to be attracted to a glottal stop but his Doctor always _was_ making his dreams reality.  
Like the dream of finally, _finally_ being able to speak in his native tongue. It was like stepping into the _tUrn’I haritUnt_ at the public baths on Cardassia, the warmth seeping into his bones and washing off the grime of the day.   
Julian was steadily getting better at arguing in Kardassi, too. And what a delight it was! To hear the layers in the tapestry his words form. How he’d weave an insult into a critique of yet _another_ Cardassian Great and he wouldn't even recognise the complementary aspect of it until later that night, sandwiched by a heated blanket and Julian’s warmth. He almost woke the man up the first time, and had kept an ear out for it since.  
  
He was a natural. Garak had always thought of Julian as the most Cardassian non-Cardassian he’d ever met, and it was only reinforced with his progress. He delighted in learning new vocabulary, and would ask of every dictionary and historical record he could obtain from the few contacts who had access to such things.   
  
And, so, here they are, 79.3 Stardays later, laying in bed. Garak was reading a book Julian had given him. It was called _The Blood on Their Hands,_ and focused on the corruption of the many governments and how they allowed the events of the early-to-mid 21st century to take place. It was a fascinating read - of course, nothing like it would _ever_ exist in any Cardassian-owned space, which only led to further interest in the text.   
Julian had stopped reading earlier in the night and had plastered himself to Garak’s side, head resting on his shoulder and drawing circles around his Chula absent-mindedly, lost in thought.   
“Elim.”  
_Damn_ , and just when he'd gotten to the good part about something called _Brexit_? It sounded delicious.  
“Yes, dear?” He replied, switching off the Padd and placing it aside.  
“What is love?”   
Elim laughs at the phrasing. “Is that a trick question?”  
“No!” Julian snorts, pulling away and settling his weight on his elbows. He looks down at Garak. “I was reading this ancient collection of works, earlier. Before european language was standardised and the countries unified, there was a country called- uh- Greece and ages ago-” he draws the two words out, almost as if to emphasise exactly _how_ long it had been, “-there was a philosopher called Plato.” He stops to take a breath. “And _Plato_ came up with this whole idea of like, different _kinds_ of love, apparently?” Garak nods, and he sighs. “But they got rid of it because _another_ european language was spoken more widely and they don’t _ever_ think about nuance with English, it looks absolutely _dreadful_. It’s a flimsy, cobbled-together language, and half the grammar doesn’t even make sense!" He finishes his speech frowning, and sits up, legs crossed underneath him   
Garak laughs again, he loves to see Julian so impassioned. The angle is a little strenuous on his neck, so he sits up, pulling the blanket to cover most of his torso. Julian likes to keep his bedroom on the cooler side, which is fine when he's tucked into bed but… he searches the room for where he'd put one of his boyfriend's oversized jumpers. Ah. on the dresser. "So, these different kinds of love, you say?" He slips out of bed to grab it.   
Julian brightens. “Yes! Okay so- is your UT off?” Garak nods, half obscured as he pulls it over his head. “Okay, good. So they categorised love into seven different types: _eros_ , erotic lurve,” he wiggles his eyebrows.   
Elim pauses, about to slide back into the bed. "You know what? I've half a mind to head back to my quarters all of a sudden!"   
“Heeyyyy- no! You’ve never been able to resist my charm before, Elim, what’s the matter now?” He wiggles his eyebrows again and does some kind of… shimmy? He levels Julian with an unimpressed stare, and the man sighs. “ _Fine_. I won't try to seduce you further." Garak grins and gets back under the covers.   
"So the next type of love is _Philia,_ which is a… platonic love? And then you have _Storge_ , which is, uh.” He winces. "familial love- sorry.” Garak shakes his head. _Not a problem, we're both in the same boat.  
_“And then _Ludus_ , which is playful love- infatuation! It’s how we were when you first approached me in the replimat... “ He snickers at Garak's mock indignation “Julian Bashir, you take that back! I’ve never been playful or infatuated in my life and I’m not about to start now!”  
Julian’s reply is a dry but playful: “Of course, Elim dear, I’d _hate_ to imply otherwise. Now, moving on to more _important_ things." He gets a jab in the ribs for that one. How _dare_ he imply he's nor important! " _Mania,_ obsessive love. Which is,” he tips his head back, pressing the back of his hand to his forehead, “of course, equally how you felt for me that fateful day we met. You wouldn’t leave me alone _all_ day!”  
“If you remember correctly, my _dearest_ Doctor, there was a plot for the abduction and murder of a Bajoran terrorist! Were it not my ‘obsession’ with you, he wouldn’t have been so lucky!”  
Julian huffs. “Must you always ruin my fun?” He’s grinning despite his words, as Garak pulls him in to nestle in his arms.  
“All the time, darling.” He grins back, pressing his nose into Julian’s thick hair.  
“There’s only two left! _Pragma_ , enduring love.” His voice takes a wistful tone, “it’s like the kind of love an old married couple have for one another. It’s unlike the others, it’s built by the people in the relationship over time. It’s compromises and arguments and reconciliation. It’s beautiful!” He’s excited, tapping his fingers against his chest as he speaks. Garak smiles.   
“And the last?” He asks.  
“ _Philautia_ , love of the self.”   
Garak tuts. “How selfish,” he retorts, exaggeratedly “Love for the self would precede love for the state, and _nothing_ comes above love for the state!”   
Julian snorts. “Alright old man, don’t let anyone else hear you say that.”  
Elim frowns. “We do have similar distinctions in Kardassi, though. After all, what is language if not a precision tool? Our _e’ghra_ is like _philia._ Perhaps a little of _pragma_ and _storge_ , too. It’s a love between close friends. We don't tend to have much love for acquaintances. We have love for family, obviously, as it is the second priority in our lives: _e’kUra_. Romantic love, _e’zIra_ , which encapsulates _eros_ , _ludus_ , _mania_ , and _pragma_.”  
Julian’s been looking up at him, rapt with attention, no doubt taking mental notes to review later.   
  
“Then we have _e’Karra_ , love of Cardassia. Our planet, our government, our people. At _Sicus’e_ ceremonies, it is what is spoken between husband and wife. It is a promise to each other and their family, that their love will never be more important than the others in their lives. It is a reminder that we do not live in isolation, that our actions as citizens affect the lives of others around us, and that we are responsible for not only our lives, but the lives of every citizen.” He pauses, glancing down Julian’s eyes are soft and wide, brimming with adoration and deathly serious all at once. He nods and takes a deep breath.  
“I think I understand why you love your people so much, Elim.”  
The confession is unexpected, but is appreciated nonetheless. He smiles, pressing a kiss to the crown of his head. “I thought you would. Actually…” he trails off, unsure if it was appropriate to share.   
“Actually?” Julian presses gently, sensing his trepidation.  
“There’s another one. It’s a sort of taboo.”

Julian grins. “I think you're speaking to the right man about taboo, darling.”  
“Spoken with candor, my dear.” He calms himself. No one’s listening to the conversation, he checks Julian’s quarters for microphones and cameras every time he visits. “Of course. So it’s another kind of love. One that comes above the state. It’s more of a colloquialism, as the word has never been officially recognised by any branches of the government. I doubt it ever will be. It’s the kind of thing you can be executed for, if the being of your affection doesn’t feel that way about you.”  
  
Julian’s face is alight, and one of his hands is flapping excitedly. “Tell me,” he insists.  
Garak smiles.  
" _E’fUmetre_.” It's whispered, like it'll somehow summon Tain himself if spoken too loudly.   
Julian laughs. "Huh. I thought it'd be… more somehow?" He laughs again at Garak's huff. "Apologies, dear, I hate to ruin the mood like that." He trails off. "So. Have you?"   
"Have I what, dear?"   
"Ever. Loved someone like that. _E'fUmetre_."  
He seems anxious. Elim thinks back to his childhood, his admiration for Palandine and One Charaban. He… doesn't know.   
Hm. Maybe?" It's an unusual moment of candor, and he feels raw when Julian looks up at him. It feels like he's flicking through his memories. He averts his eyes.  
"It's similar to your _pragma_ , Julian. It's something… built. It takes time. You don't confess _e'fUmetre_ to just anyone… It's someone you truly trust, truly love. It's someone you'd betray everything you've been taught and everything you know."   
Julian frowns. "Just for one person?"   
Garak laughs. "Dear, I'm not sure I could handle much more."   
He smiles, presses a kiss to his neck ridge. "Do you think you'll ever love someone like that?"   
"Perhaps one day, dear. Come now, we need to sleep."   
  
It's not that he wants to end the conversation, he could talk with Julian for days at a time. But this has awoken… God knows, _something_ , in him and he needs some time to process it.   
Maybe he _will_ find that love with someone. _Maybe Julian_ , his traitorous brain whispers, and he takes a moment to inspect the thought.  
Perhaps if he ever gets to leave exile.  
Or, perhaps Earth would be a nice place to live. 

**Author's Note:**

> tUrn’I haritUnt is like? hot baths within a bathhouse? directly translates to "warm water place" but i chop and change it a little. grammar is hard innit.  
> E’fUmetre is made of "more" and "all" and follows the pattern of the other written examples in the EKD.  
> credit for kardassi used goes to tinsnip, gallelioace and vyc. 
> 
> I'm avaliable on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/zer0-pharaoh) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/zer0_pharaoh) :3 trying to sound as normal as possible but if anyone else wants to talk about various cardassian things pleasee please hit me up i think abt it SO MUCH. especially the calendar.  
> im also planning on writing a gender fic soon to justify genderqueer garak so. keep an eye out if thats what ur into.  
> thanks for reading! leave a kudos and comment if u want. i appreciate it a lot :)


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